Not sure, what I’m going to write or what’s going on with me. Most probably it will turn into a long depressing rant, and will make ‘stronger’ case for people who perceive and call me a loser.
You know, what’s been haunting me for few days, months and years is ‘nobody cares’. Right, words have become too meaningless, conversations too shallow, it’s all so superficial. Like, ‘how are you? Or how are you doing?’ Do we/they even know what they/we are asking? Do we/they really want to know? Are we/they willing to listen? Willing to spend energy on someone? Willing to make a connection or investment in someone? 99.9% answer is a resounding NO.
But still, interactions/conversations rotate and revolve around these, but WHY is it that? May be it’s the curiosity, that’s it. And at times, just to use other’s misery/success as benchmark for measuring our own life. Ohh this this guy is in such a mess, and my life is way better than him, or oh he is such a lucky chap and I’m down in the dumps. It’s like evoking our emotions (happy and sad) based on someone else’s. That’s probably is the biggest poison, when we start treating other’s gain as our personal loss. Someone got a good job becomes ‘oh my life is so pathetic’, when someone buys a luxury car or vacation or house, it immediately becomes ‘my life is such a suffering’. If you are happy ‘no body cares’, if you are sad then again ‘nobody cares’. What’s going in your head, what you are thinking, what is troubling you? – Nobody wants to know, nobody cares. And I really can’t stress on this – nobody cares. Yes, only curiosity is there, in same way as we like to watch reality shows (or peek into people’s Facebook profile).
Earlier you come to terms with it better it is for you. On contrary, if that’s what life is, then why do we want others to care? Why do we want others validation? Or interventions to validate our happiness or sadness? It’s like expecting others to give you a priority treatment on freeways because you had a tough day at work. Like you can hear happy or sad songs while driving depending on your mood but nobody cares in what mood you are driving or what’s going on in your life.
Consider yourself luckiest even if you have just one person in the life who really cares. Parents/siblings/spouse/friends everyone will care but till a certain point, after that you are on your own. Choice is simple (simple things are most difficult), just become that other 0.1%.