Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Air-Supply.....
I'll bounce back. Yes I'll.
Suddenly emptiness’ of everything took over...everything looked worthless, dull and what not.
but the truth is ..I’m still ruled by heart...or when heart thinks mind find its indecent to interfere. Reason goes out of the window when inner triggers are touched.
I ended up taking a leave from work and spending time with myself at home. and it was worth taking the break.
Well, as like any human being, we all crave for companionship. About people who accept us with all our flaws and shortcomings, who listen to our endless crib about anything and stand by us. I’m no different.
Last night a close friend and confidant left the country for 3 months. Creating a void...a vacuum.
And again I had a non-verbal fight with her, I know she is angry, she is frustrated about whole situation and ends up taking out all her anger at me, she feels she is helpless and strangely she is strength for me.
Now it’s been 44hrs since I heard her voice.
I'll bounce back. Yes I'll.
but the truth is ..I’m still ruled by heart...or when heart thinks mind find its indecent to interfere. Reason goes out of the window when inner triggers are touched.
I ended up taking a leave from work and spending time with myself at home. and it was worth taking the break.
Well, as like any human being, we all crave for companionship. About people who accept us with all our flaws and shortcomings, who listen to our endless crib about anything and stand by us. I’m no different.
Last night a close friend and confidant left the country for 3 months. Creating a void...a vacuum.
And again I had a non-verbal fight with her, I know she is angry, she is frustrated about whole situation and ends up taking out all her anger at me, she feels she is helpless and strangely she is strength for me.
Now it’s been 44hrs since I heard her voice.
I'll bounce back. Yes I'll.
2nd July 2004
Another day started with all I had stuffed in mind in all these years of my life....and in the night all thoughts came tried to clear the confusions and me too was listening to them attentively like an obedient school kid listening to his favourite teacher's dis-courses. ....it all evaporated with sudden shining of the sun in the room, i struggled to cling to the aura of the night but in vain...it took away all innocence and clarity. And again I was left with more levels of confusions n cluttered thoughts ,Half-remembered conversations still echoing in the mind. Then came the unending roads..noise traffic...panic and the bouts of amnesia...forgetting everything..office..work..play...it seemed as if life will finish before the congested noisy roads....this happens almost everyday but in the end ...office suddenly halts the thoughts n stuffs all the office related stuff to all already over-stuffed mind. And daily i question myself...what exactly i'm looking for....and my mind again goes in a deep thoughts...i know...answer is everything or nothing.couple of good games of tennis after that good sleep good movie in the night(after dinner). weekend somewhere in hills......trekking or just staying in some jungle for a couple of days...doing nothing. and studying a lot...rather enjoying it .... or NOTHING. in the end i end up doing/getting NOTHING. who is stopping me doing what I actually want to do?? Everything or Nothing attitude?? or Am i just fooling myself? so little time and so much to do.......A priority check is needed this weekend. this weekend will decide a lot.hmmmm better to be clearly doubtful than to be, er... artificially convinced ...this weekend.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)