2nd July 2004

Another day started with all I had stuffed in mind in all these years of my life....and in the night all thoughts came tried to clear the confusions and me too was listening to them attentively like an obedient school kid listening to his favourite teacher's dis-courses. ....it all evaporated with sudden shining of the sun in the room, i struggled to cling to the aura of the night but in vain...it took away all innocence and clarity. And again I was left with more levels of confusions n cluttered thoughts ,Half-remembered conversations still echoing in the mind. Then came the unending roads..noise traffic...panic and the bouts of amnesia...forgetting everything..office..work..play...it seemed as if life will finish before the congested noisy roads....this happens almost everyday but in the end ...office suddenly halts the thoughts n stuffs all the office related stuff to all already over-stuffed mind. And daily i question myself...what exactly i'm looking for....and my mind again goes in a deep thoughts...i know...answer is everything or nothing.

couple of good games of tennis

after that good sleep

good movie in the night(after dinner).

weekend somewhere in hills......trekking or just staying in some jungle for a couple of days...doing nothing.

and studying a lot...rather enjoying it

.... or NOTHING. in the end i end up doing/getting NOTHING. who is stopping me doing what I actually want to do?? Everything or Nothing attitude?? or Am i just fooling myself? so little time and so much to do.......A priority check is needed this weekend. this weekend will decide a lot.hmmmm better to be clearly doubtful than to be, er... artificially convinced ...this weekend.